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May 19, 2002

      Welcome to this issue of the News Flash.  I've decided to do an issue dedicated to all things Klingon.  I hope you enjoy it.  I've also included some wonderful websites at the end of the issue that includes some great recipes for anyone wishing to serve some blood pie at their next party.  They even have pictures! 

    I hope all of you have been able to reserve those tickets to see the new Star Wars movie that's out.  I hear so many people have missed work that it's estimated businesses have lost something like 30 million dollars in lost time.  It should have been declared a national holiday.

    Other then that...Jaffo has disappeared again.  Computer problems or the flu?  I'm sure he'll be back soon, he always turns up sooner or later.  Perhaps he's just one of those people who are watching the new Star Wars movie 27 times.  

     Ann Johnson
Captain Ann Johnson


"I am a graduate of Starfleet Academy; I know many things."
-- Worf (The Darkness and the Light)


Sim Schedule

Klingon Tea Ceremony: (tlhIngan Dargh Seq) Performed by two friends, this ceremony is a reminder that "death is an experience best shared" (Heghlu'DI mobbe'lu QaQqu' Hegh wanI'), and partly as a test of courage, as the tea is toxic with a drug called tlhInganpu. 

The Logboards are ready!!  Check them out at:  Don't forget to sign up, it's very easy and fast and will allow you to see all the new posts.  To sign up as a user, go to "Register" at the top right menu and fill out the short form. 

Excerpts from the boards:

What is your favorite Star Trek Race?


Well Needless to say Klingons are my Favorite Trek Race. There's just something about this bunch of crazed, Gregarious, and Honorable Brothers and Sisters in arms that makes ya feel good about the shape of the Trek Universe.  -Hunter2299

While I am a very big fan of the Klingon Empire, I find myself more intrigued by the Romulan Star Empire and the Cardassian Union. These two are similar in more ways than I think are often noted. The Tal Shiar is not a far cry from the Obsidian Order, and their arrogance is also notably similar. And Deep Space Nine is a tribute to Cardassian Architecture. I think it's absolutely beautiful! Just steer clear of the Yamok sauce and you'll be fine.  -AmbKoshASG

WE ARE BORG RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. Well they aren't actually a race but they still rock, the same with the Hirogen they're cool to.  -Games

Well, the Klingon appearance thing is a side effect of TOS not having enough in the budget for elaborate makeup. The appearance of Romulans was cut back because the ears cost too much.

The main thing that bothers me is the whole "let's make a prequel" thing. The technology displayed is way more advanced and better looking than TOS. And this is supposed to be taking place before that. Are we to expect they had some kind of anti-tech era happen in the Star Trek world? (The movies are an exception since they had the money to do it right.)

Here's a good example: In TOS, the monitors and screens were kind of sucky. Now, we see cool flat panel displays everywhere on Enterprise. LCD flat panels are real world tech today, but not back in the 60's. Also, computers; need I say more?

You can prequels with Star Wars better than Star Trek because the timespan for technological change isn't there; everyone uses blasters all the way through. I would have rather seen a Star Trek series about a special ops team that would travel around and do stuff. First Contact works, but it's pre-Warp and takes place in Montana.

What we have here is a series that shows its tech closer to future extensions of the present day, plus the budget and experience of a lot of movies and other series to back it up.

But back to the klingons... maybe they all got exposed to radiation and their genetic structure mutated, causing the feature thing to skip a generation. -ASGSeth


Take a moment to find out what other people are talking about.  ~Ann


We've been asked to make best speed for the planet of Necromantis.  It is rumored that on this planet nothing stays dead for long. After the away mission it's been rumored that their are now spirits on the ship!

Come Join the fun loving crew of the USS Fireball as they seek to learn the answers behind this mysterious undead world of NECROMANTIS!  Sunday 10:00 PM EST in room USS Fireball.  Commanded this week by the Fireball's Creator Slate Raven!


Gagh (qagh): First seen when Commander Riker chose to honor the time honored ritual of a feast before transferring to another ship. Perhaps the most recognized of Klingon food choices, it comes in 51 different varieties, including torghud qagh, vIlDIng qagh, mIcha' qagh, etlhul qagh, and wIStng qagh. Each variety has a different flavor, and feels different as you swallow it.

"Constable, why are you talking to your beverage?!?" -- Worf

"It's not a beverage. It's a changeling." -- Odo (The Begotten)


Perhaps the single most striking feature of Klingon anatomy is the ridged forehead crown evident in genetically pure individuals, a characteristic missing in the few Klingon/human genetic fusions still serving in some parts of the Empire. Each cranial structure, much like the human fingerprint, is unique. 

Top Ten Ways to make a Klingon Happy 

10.  Take the safety controls off the holodeck.  

9.     Growl at them.

8.     Give him bloodwine then send him off with orders to enjoy himself in Ten Forward.

7.     Give him a batlh'etlh, and let him negotiate with terrorists.

6.     Throw him a party and continually change the flavors of the cake.

5.      Ask him to repeat his linage.  Forward and backwards.

4.      Allow him to skip the sonic shower for a couple of weeks.

3.      Let him to wear his spike toed foot-gear while interrogating your enemies.

2.       Invite Scotty to your next party and bring up the "Trouble with tribbles" episode.

1.       And finally, the best way to make a Klingon happy is to tell him it's mating season.

Rites of passage and tests of warrior skill are revered signposts of Klingon maturity, often evolving to-the-death combat with primitive blade and blunt weaponry.

K'Tesh Klingon Recipes

Klingon Cultural Database

The Klingon Race




Prior Issues  Feb 17, 2002 : Feb 24, 2002: March 3, 2002March 10, 2002: March 17, 2002: April 13, 2002April 28, 2002: May 8, 2002