March 10, 2002
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Welcome to this issue of the News Flash. I was surfing the net the other day because someone told me that I needed to add more amusing stuff. ::nudges Jaffo:: Heh.. can you imagine? Well, other then sitting around playing with my ball of duct tape I honestly couldn't think of a thing, so off to the net I wandered AND I found the funniest site I'd seen in a long while. So with that in mind, I'm dedicating this entire issue to B5 humor which I found on the Scotsman's Babbling Farce page and Delenntoo's B5 Cartoons, Comics and Caricatures. I encourage you all to take some time and look it over, they even have trading cards #59 which I would have included but they were just to big to fit in one issue, I especially liked the Scotsman's later issues where you can dress Garibaldi #63. So with that in mind, here we go, I hope you enjoy this issue.
Anne Johnson
Captain Ann Johnson
I have to say this one caught my fancy, I haven't thought of shadow dancing in just this way before.
McFlarn??
"But no one takes comedians seriously."
"Isn't that a contradiction?"
-- Rebo and Delenn in Babylon 5:"Day of the Dead"
I can just imagine Vicky leading the troops, and what is that he's kicking?
Got to
love this guy.
Dear Jaffo,
Why does everyone on B5 still use coffeemakers? I mean, Star Trek has replicators. Just how far behind on technology IS Babylon 5, if they can't even make coffee in a new way?
--Juan Valdez's Wonder Donkey
****************************** ******************************
Dear Donkey,
Who are you to question technological evolution?! Babylon 5 is a universe that's hand's down grittier, more dramatic, more dangerous, and certainly more entertaining than the Star Trek universe. Those ST folk have everything handed to them on a silver platter. "Replicator, make me a latte. Replicator, make me a fruit smoothie. Replicator, tie my shoes for me." Honestly! You'll never see a Babylon 5 denizen stooping so low as to having a machine create food for them. These are REAL space pioneers, and by God they stick to the Old Ways where coffee has to be ground, steeped in boiling hot water, and ran through a filter before general consumption. So B5 lacks in technology a little. Maybe they choose to. Ever think about that one? B5 has more telepaths running around in one quadrant than the whole ST universe put together. Obviously they're more advanced mentally than the ST monkeys, so it wouldn't be too far a stretch to assume they're more advanced technologically, they just choose to be rustic rather than pampered.
Ever see that Daffy Duck tapestry-thing in Garibaldi's quarters? If that had happened in ST, a sniveling little officer would have demanded a machine create that for him. But since Garibaldi is a REAL man, he scrounged and bled and killed and maimed his way across seven planets looking for the right
threadbare, dyes, looms, shuttles, patterns, etc. Garibaldi don't need no stinkin' replicator! He'll bite the bullet and weave himself whatever he needs. And I can't begin to trust a Captain that won't drink coffee. Picard wants to drink what, black tea? Psh. Ever notice how he can't seem to stop adjusting his uniform when he stands up? It's not a self-conscious quirk to correct a potential wrinkle, it's the tea-driven gestures of a MADMAN! If he was really a Captain he'd be knocking back a pot of coffee every hour on the hour, and chewing tobacco like it was going out of style and using Wesley's face as a spitoon! ...alright, granted Sheridan never chewed tobacco, but who can blame him? It would have killed that Fatherly Smile of his. Viva coffee! Viva Babylon 5! Long live the Old Ways!
Javaly,
Jaffo
And I always thought that they were just kidding about always drinking coffee on the station.
~Ann
Now, this truly makes sense to me.
Being
in the PSI corps has it's drawbacks too.
"This may not be a good idea."
"We should learn about all the dark places here, since that is where we will do our work. .. In the
dark." -- Tannier and Rastenn in Babylon 5:"Learning Curve"
And finally, this little gem.. courtesy of Delenntoo
"Where are you going?"
"To pound someone, Mr. Allan. You win. I just decided if you can't join them, beat them."
-- Zack and Lochley in Babylon 5:"Strange Relations"
Please join the wacko and wonderful crews of these B5 sims. More information about the sims can be found on the main website or by contacting ASGSolr1, ASGVicky or FreekASG. Just watch out and don't drink the coffee :-)
Scotsman's
Babbling Farce page
Delenntoo's B5 Cartoons,
Comics and Caricatures
The Lurkers Guide to
Babylon5
Newsflash
Prior Issues Feb 17, 2002 : Feb 24, 2002: March 3, 2002