News Flash!  News Flash!  News Flash!  News Flash!  News Flash!  News Flash!  News Flash!  News Flash!

April 28, 2002

    Welcome to this issue of the News Flash.  It's been a good month for the ASG, the Command Staff is working on web boards for the entire ASG. I'm looking for anyone interested in writing for the News Flash, even if it's just submitting amusing jokes you find on the web.  Top Ten submissions are also being taken.  No.. they don't have to be that amusing, so try your hand at it.  Actually if you have something you'd like to talk about even if it's just the current episode of Enterprise, B5 or the new StarWars movie, send it to me at  It will be a great way for you to become involved, especially since Jaffo's been missing for the last 4 days.  In light of this, I'm skipping his column this time and you'll see it in the next issue that's going to be coming out sometime this weekend.

     Ann Johnson
Captain Ann Johnson

First of all I would like to welcome our new members:

If you see these new members around please take the time to say hello to them.

There have been several ideas recently by the staff on ways to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of the Alliance Sim Group. I would like to take this time to ask anyone that has ideas to contact ASGAngM. She is going to begin to making plans for an event to celebrate the Anniversary.

I did find out that I missed one birthday besides ASGAnne's in my list of birthday people for the months of January through April. I want to wish LtCdrZachASG happy belated birthday with all the others.

I want to thank all of you out there who make the ASG what it is. 

Rear Admiral Vicky Howe
Commander in Chief, ASG for AOL members


Sim Schedule


Crazy way to travel. Spreading a man's molecules all over the universe.
... McCoy, "Obsession," 3620.7..


    This month the Command Staff is looking into new webboards which hopefully will be available to you sometime in the future.  Webboards are basically boards where you can post messages to each other.  They are a great way to increase communication between those of you working different shifts, who want some feedback on one subject and you don't want to IM everyone on your buddy list, and they will also allow you to wish each other happy birthday, or just complain about the amount of homework you get from your english teacher.  

        Webboards or Logboards will allow you to get to know your fellow simmer better so I'm really looking forward to seeing people work on this.  Keep an eye out for a FWA letting you know when they are up.


        Under the Command of Captain Hunter, the USS Lexis sims on Saturday nights at 10:15 Eastern.  Come visit the crew of the Lexis as they visit peaceful worlds  and save the universe from some nasty aliens.  

The webpage for the Lexis is at: http://USS_Lexis_Home_Page

"Radicals have a logic all of their own," 

- Tallera, The Gambit, Part I and II, TNG

    Dear Jaffo is gone missing... I've heard he's lost somewhere in his room and should be back sometimes soon.  When you see him remind him to leave a trail of bread crumbs from the computer to the door so he can find his way back again.  Anyways in his place I'll be giving you the low down on duct tape and it's uses in your everyday life! I'm sure most of you have already found a use for it aboard your ship or station.   Enjoy!

"God made the world, but it's held together with duct tape". -ANON

     Duct Tape: Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in stickum and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator hose, upholstery, insulation, tow rope, and more in one easy-to-carry package. Sure, there's a prejudice surrounding duct tape in concourse competitions, but in the real world everything from LeMans - winning Porsches to Atlas rockets - uses it by the yard. The only thing that can get you out of more scrapes is a quarter and a phone booth. 

Suggested Uses for Duct Tape....

Patch that rusted out trap at the bottom of the sink.
Patch pipes in the basement.
Put strips in the bottom for a non-slip bathtub.
Patch the broken toilet tank.

Patch that rust spot at the bottom of the fender. Works best on a silver car.
Patch radiator hoses.
Hold up that window that fell off the track or tape the piece of clear plastic over it.
Patch the seat covers.
Tape the door shut when the latch breaks.
Hold up the falling headliner in that raggedy old car.
Patch that crack in the dashboard padding.
Cover the annoying "check engine" light that won't go out.
Temporarily repair a universal joint (worked for 3 days!) [Walter Isgro]
Patch mufflers and tailpipes (needs frequent replacing).

Auto mechanics:
If you're working on a car and cut yourself, use as a band-aid to keep the grease out.
Wrap that old socket swivel joint so it doesn't flop so much.
NASCAR Racing Pit Crews use it to temporarily patch car bodies. [Bill Moore]

Use as floppy disk labels.
Tape all the holes in the case shut so the fan noise isn't so annoying.
Tape the cables out of the way.
Don't have that special hard drive bracket? Duct tape it.

Around the house:
Tape an annoying person's mouth shut.
Hang pictures and posters.
Patch the kids wading pool.
Repair split paperback book bindings.
Repair eyeglass frames.
Repair broken sandals [Beatriz Pulido].
Substitute nail polish remover. [Gene Hilleren]
Use for three legged races when you don't have rope
My wife uses it for emergency facelifts.
Tape that old shoe with the sole coming apart in the front. 
Weatherstrip windows and doors.
Patch that broken last cigarette in the pack. Hack, hack.
Add to a regular book cover to make it indestructible. [Fannie A.K.A. Rick]
Tape up the kids for an emergency baby sitter.
When doing yard work (shoveling, raking, etc.) put it on the areas likely to blister.  [Paul Edwards]
My roommate and I used it on the bottom of a foot locker, that was used in place of a coffee table, so that it wouldn't scratch the hardwood floors. [Dave NLN]
Use to get dried cat puke out of carpeting. [CV in Massachusetts] Oh boy!

Website Reference:  You didn't think I made all those up did you?  <g>

The TOP Ten reasons to watch B5 

    10.  You'll learn what the word Zocolo means and why you should visit it..
      9.   Rangers, big bad fighting guys, need I say more?
      8.    You can always tell your parents that the PSI Corps made you do it.
      7. Where else can you see your shadow on TV? 
      6.  It will make you appreciate coffee. 
      5.  Garibaldi, understanding how hair is important.
      4.  Learn what to expect when you marry an alien. 
      3.  Where else can rebels win and take over the government? 
      2.  It's a great source for pet names... i.e.  Robo, Zooty, Londo, Neroon. 
      1.  Vicky told you to watch it!


See how your logic is in figuring this out. 

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him? 




The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. 

All the Links this month are game like websites, so indulge yourself and become addicted to something new...

B5 Trivia
StarTrek Recreation Center



Prior Issues  Feb 17, 2002 : Feb 24, 2002: March 3, 2002March 10, 2002: March 17, 2002: April 13, 2002